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Why Therapy Does Not Work
Do you ever wonder why therapy does not work? I once had a couple who had come in on the verge of divorce after being married for over twenty years. I wasn't too surprised when I found out what event coincided with the rapid decline of their generally rotten marriage. The wife had started to see an individual therapist to deal with her marriage. In fact, the individual therapist discouraged the husband's involvement and told him that it would be best to work with the wife alone. As I said, I wasn't surprised. Unfortunately, this is a rather common ocurrence. Please, if you want help with your marriage, go together with your spouse. Here is what to do if you can't get your spouse to come.
Why individual therapy can be so dangerous for your marriage
Individual therapy can be so dangerous for your marriage because it shifts the energy away from your relationship- the true healing vehicle for your marriage. Both you and your spouse have all the answers you need to repair your relationship. It is not helpful when a therapist speaks poorly about your spouse or gives you advice which you come home and start sharing with your husband or wife. It leads to insecurity and second guessing. Even the best well-meaning individual therapist can be harmful. If you are seeing an individual therapist for your marriage, the best thing you could do is work on your issues alone and not make any suggestions about your spouse.
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