Do you have an unwilling spouse who won't come with you to counseling?You are all ready to call me but there is one problem... your spouse won't come. This is pretty common. Although there is usually a dragger and a dragee to my sessions, it may not be because your spouse is ignorant or disagreebale. There are plenty of good reasons why someone would not want to come to marriage counseling, including all the previous times that it hasn't worked. They feel like they are going to blamed or shamed, forced to change, or ganged up against by the therapist. Although I guarantee that Imago will be different, nobody buys that until they have their first session. So what can you do?There are no tricks or lies involved. You simply tell your spouse that you really want to be a better spouse and that you are inviting them to join you to help you in that endeavor. This takes the pressure off of them and allows them to feel safe. The worst thing you can do is to pressure him/her. No matter how ready you are, sometimes your spouse is not ready. What you can do is read Getting the Love You Want and do personal growth work to learn some skills that will help you create a safer environment for both of you.Follow this link to read how you can learn the tools to use even without a willing partner. |